I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
