tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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