It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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