Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
