You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
