it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
