You're so nebulous sometimes
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
