Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
