i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
