And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
