i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
