That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
