Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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