Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
