My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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