He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
All I want is dick and wine.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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