his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
