small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
