Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
