i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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