I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
