Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
