We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
