you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
