wakey wakey hands off snakey
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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