Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
