you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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