So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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