to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
