So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
