ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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