So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
