I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
