Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
