You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
