woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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