there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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