But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
