Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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