420 ftw
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
