Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
