I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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