cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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