I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
