Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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