I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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