at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
there is glitter all over my balls
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
