did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
