Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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