I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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