I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
