Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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